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Sex Jokes
Meet the Father
My girlfriends dad asked me what I do. Apparently, "your daughter" wasn't the right answer.
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Calling in Sick
Bob calls in to his job: "Hey, boss I'm not coming to work today. I'm really sick. I got a headache, stomach ache, and my legs hurt, so I'm not coming into work." The boss says: "You know Bob, I really need you today. When I feel like this, I go to my wife, and tell her to give me sex. That makes me feel better, and I can go to work. You should try that." Two hours later Bob calls: "Boss, I did what you said, and I feel great! I'll be at work soon. By the way, you've got a nice house!"
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Itchy
A teacher notices that a little boy at the back of the class is squirming around, scratching his crotch and not paying attention. She goes back to find out what's up. He's quite embarrassed and whispers that he has just recently been circumcised and he's quite itchy. The teacher tells him to go down to the principal's office, to phone his mum, and ask her what he should do about it. He does this and returns to the class, sits down in his seat and suddenly, there's a general commotion at the back of the room. Back down she goes, only to find him sitting at his desk with his penis hanging out. "I thought I told you to call your mom" she says. "I did" he says. "She told me that if I could stick it out till noon, she'd come and pick me up from school."
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