Top 10 Advice from Kids

1. Never trust a dog to watch your food.
2. When your dad is mad and asks you, 'Do I look stupid?' don't answer.
3. Never tell your mom her diet's not working.
4. Don't pull dad's finger when he tells you to.
5. Never hold a dust buster and a cat at the same time.
6. You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
7. If you want a kitten, start out by asking for a horse.
8. Don't pick on your sister when she's holding a baseball bat.
9. When you get a bad grade in school, show it to your mom when she's on the phone.
10. Never try to baptize a cat.

Do the Math

The math teacher saw that little Johnny wasn't paying attention in class.
She called on him and said, "Johnny! what are 4, 2, 28 and 44?"
Little Johnny quickly replied, "NBC, CBS, HBO and the Cartoon Network!"

Little Peanut

Little Sally came home from school with a smile on her face, and told her mother, "Frankie Brown showed me his weenie today at the playground!" Before the mother could raise a concern, "Sally went on to say, "It reminded me of a peanut." Relaxing with a hidden smile, Sally's mom asked, "Really small, was it?" Sally replied, "No, salty." Her mom fainted.