A Final Exam

Last semester I took macroeconomics and didn't have a clue what I was doing (as cited on the final exam). There were 80 multiple choice questions. For some reason I decided to play the game of probability and choose the letter "A" for everything. In that game, the only thing probable was that I failed.
The following day, the professor asked to see me after class. "Is everything okay?" "Sure," I said, "why? "Well, here's your test," he said and handed me a piece of paper that was covered with red ink. "Can you explain why you chose an 'A' for everything?"
Knowing that there was nothing I could do at this point, I said, "Well, I've always wanted to be an 'A' student."

Pregnant With A Boy

One day four boys were playing soccer in the schoolyard. They kicked the ball up in the trees and none of the boys could get it, so they go get the teacher, who was pregnant. So she goes up the tree and one boy screams. "The teacher is going to have a boy!" Several months go by, and he teacher does have a boy. The teacher calls the boy who shouted and asks, "How did you know I was going to have a boy?" The boy says, "You weren't wearing any panties and I saw its mustache."

Proverbs Finished by 4th Grade Class

Proverbs as finished by a fourth grade class:

• It is always darkest... Just before you flunk a test.
• There is nothing new... under a rock.
• A journey of a thousand miles begins with... a private jet.
• A committee of three... gets things done when they are not fighting.
• If you can't stand the heat... try Antarctica.
• Better late than... absent.
• A rolling stone... may dent the floor.
• If at first you don't succeed... live with it.
• Laugh, and the world laughs with you.
• Cry... and then blow your nose.
• A bird in the hand is... better than a woodpecker on your head.
• Early to bed, early to rise... and you will get the best cereal.
• Two heads... are pretty scary.
• It is better to light a candle than... to light a bomb.
• A miss is as good as... a mister.
• A penny saved... is not a lot.
• Don't burn your bridges... or you'll fall in the lake.
• Haste makes... sweat.