More Signs You Are Out of College

• Your refrigerator holds more solid foods than liquids.
• You've lost the thread on your favorite soap opera.
• 8 a.m. means shower and shave, not wake and bake.
• You file taxes with more than three digits.
• You hear your favorite songs in doctor's waiting rooms and when you're on hold with the bank.
• You're not carded anymore for anything.
• You carry an umbrella.
• You now know there's no such thing as "looking mature."
• You get your news from sources other than ESPN and MTV.
• Wine appreciation expands beyond Boone's and Mad Dog.
• Doing shots and smoking cigarettes guarantees midnight dry heaves and a sinus attack instead of midnight skinny dipping and a Big Mac attack.
• You go from 130 days to seven days of vacation time.
• You actually eat breakfast foods -- at breakfast time.

You Might Be A College Student

• If you average 3 hours of sleep a night
• If your trash is overflowing and your bank account isn't
• If you go to Wal-Mart more than 3 times a week
• If you are personally keeping the local pizza place from bankruptcy
• If you wake up 10 minutes before class
• If you wear the same jeans 13 days in a row -- without washing them
• If your breakfast consists of a coke on the way to class
• If your social life consists of a date with the library
• If it takes a shovel to find the floor of your room
• If you carry less than a dollar on your person
• If you haven't done laundry in so long you are wearing your swim suit to class
• If you celebrate when you find a quarter
• If your room is so cold that your toilet freezes over
• If you wear a sweat suit for so long that it stands up by itself
• If your backpack is giving you Scoliosis
• If you get more sleep in class than in your room
• If your idea of feeding the poor is buying yourself some Ramen Noodles
• If you can sleep through your roommate's blaring stereo
• If you live in an area that is smaller than most mobile homes
• If you get more e-mail than mail

Nail In Experiment

During my freshman biology class at North High School in Springfield, Ohio, our teacher was lecturing on the conditions in which bacteria exist. Elaborating on the acidic environment where bacteria thrive, he suggested a simple experiment. "I want you to drop a nail into a glass of Coke or Pepsi, and then observe the acidic reaction on the nail," he said. The girl sitting next to me raised her hand and asked in all seriousness, "Do you mean a real nail, or a press-on?"
-- Contributed to "Tales Out of School" by Carolyn Stickney 