Pig Misunderstanding

Howard County Police officers still write their reports by hand, and the data is entered later by a computer tech into their database. One theft report stated that a farmer had lost 2,025 pigs. Thinking that to be an error, the tech called the farmer directly. "Is it true Mr. (Smith) that you lost 2,025 pigs?" she asked. "Yeth." lisped the farmer. Being a Howard County girl herself, the tech entered: "Subject lost 2 sows and 25 pigs."

On Your Mark

Q: What did the police say about the man shot with a starting pistol?
A: They're convinced it was race related.

Billy Graham Driving

Billy Graham is in a limo when he asks the driver if he could drive. With no choice, he lets Billy take the wheel. Soon after, an officer stops the limo for going over the speed limit. He looks in and finds Billy Graham at the drivers seat. The second officer on the walkie-talkie says, "Who is it?" The Officer refuses to tell him. "I think we caught someone good." "WELL?!" The first officer pauses and then states, "I think we caught Jesus Christ 'cause Billy Graham's driving the car!"