Religion Jokes - Muslim Jokes

A devout Arab Muslim entered a black cab in London. He curtly asked the cabbie to turn off the radio because as decreed by his religious teaching, he must not listen to music because in the time of the prophet there was no music, especially Western music which is the music of the infidel. The cab driver politely switched off the radio, stopped the cab and opened the door. The Arab Muslim asked him, "What are you doing?" The cabbie answered, "In the time of the prophet there were no taxis, so piss off and wait for a camel." 

Jiggs McDonald, NHL Hall of Fame broadcaster speaking in Ontario, says: "I am truly perplexed that so many of my friends are against another mosque being built in Toronto. I think it should be the goal of every Canadian to be tolerant regardless of their religious beliefs. Thus the mosque should be allowed, in an effort to promote tolerance."

"That is why I also propose that two nightclubs be opened next door to the mosque; thereby promoting tolerance from within the mosque. We could call one of the clubs, which would be gay, "The Turban Cowboy," and the other, a topless bar, would be called "You Mecca Me Hot."

"Next door should be a butcher shop that specializes in pork, and adjacent to that an open-pit barbecue pork restaurant, called “Iraq of Ribs." “Across the street there could be a lingerie store called "Victoria Keeps Nothing Secret," with sexy mannequins in the window modeling the goods", and on the other side a liquor store called "Morehammered."

"All of this would encourage Muslims to demonstrate the tolerance they demand of us.”

Yes we should promote tolerance, and you can do your part by passing this on. And if you are not laughing or smiling at this point...It is either past your bedtime, or its midnight at the oasis and time to put your camel to bed.

Q: What did Ahmed say about his sudden fame after building a clock?

A: "I didn't think it would blow up like that."

A Muslim Extremist orders an Uber. His uber driver arrives so he gets in the car and then asks the driver a question.

Extremist: in the time of Muhammad did they have radio?

Driver: no.

Extremist: so why do you have the radio on?

Driver: turns off radio

The extremist then asks another question:

Extremist: in the time of Muhammad did they have air conditioning?

Driver: no.

Extremist: so why are you using it?

Driver: turns of the air conditioner

The driver decided to ask the extremist a question.

Driver: in the time of Muhammad did they have Uber?

Extremist: obviously not.

Driver: then get the fuck out!

Airport immigration:

NAME? Muhammed al Facid

SEX? Yes 3 times a week.

NO, I MEAN FEMALE OR MALE? Oh that doesn't matter to me, sometimes I even do it with camels.