A Vicar and Colin Golfing

A Vicar and his friend, Colin were playing golf. Colin misses a 3 foot putt and yells, "Goddamn it, missed the bugger!" and the vicar says, "If you keep saying that then God will punish you." Next hole Colin misses a 2 foot putt and says "Goddamn it, missed the bugger!" and the vicar says, "ONE more time Colin, and God will punish you!" Then Colin misses a one foot putt and "GOD DAMN IT!!! MISSED THE BUGGER!" Suddenly clouds form overhead. God comes down from Heaven and strikes the Vicar dead with a bolt of thunder. God says, "Goddamn it! Missed the bugger!"

God Grants Three Wishes

After praying nonstop for eight years, God finally decided to grant a man three wishes. "I wish for the coolest cars in the universe." "Done." "I wish for the most luxurious mansion in the universe." "Done." "And I wish for the best woman in the world." So God sent him Mother Theresa.

God Made Woman and Man

God created earth, and it was good. Then God created woman, and it was better. Then, one day, Eve said, "God, I'm bored what can you do for me?" And God said in response, "I'll tell you what, I'll make you a man, he'll cook, clean, be nice, sensitive, sweet, and even open doors for you. He'll be every thing you ever wanted in a man. But you have to do one thing," Eve asked curiously, "What?" God said, "You have to get him to believe that I made him first."