Practice Makes Perfect

Q: What did God say after creating Eve?
A: "Practice makes perfect."

Believe in God

"How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?" by Woody Allen.

Priorities

Three guys go into a bar, one in a wheelchair, one is blind and the other appears normal. A couple of minutes later, God walks in to get a beer. He sees the guys and decides to have compassion on them. He touches the blind guy on the forehead, and his sight is restored. He touches the man in the wheelchair and the guy jumps up and walks away. He walks to the last guy and the guy yells, 'Whoa, God! I'm on workman's comp!'