New Drug

Did you here about the pharmaceutical company? They developed a new drug that, when administered to women, compels them to go join a convent and become a nun.
The FDA refused to license it, though. Seems it was habit-forming.

Ahmed's Clock

Q: What did Ahmed say about his sudden fame after building a clock?
A: "I didn't think it would blow up like that."

On the Edge

There’s a knock on the Pearly Gates. Saint Peter looks out and sees a man waiting to come in. Saint Peter goes out and is about to begin his interview when the man disappears. A short time later there’s another knock. Again Saint Peter gets the door, sees the man, opens his mouth to speak, and the man disappears. Saint Peter has just gone back inside when there’s yet another knock. Sure enough, the man is back standing at the Gates. “Are you playing games?” says Saint Peter. “No,” replies the man. “ They’re trying to resuscitate me.”