Crossword and Pope

A gentleman is preparing to board a plane, when he hears that the Pope is on the same flight. "This is exciting," thinks the gentleman. "Perhaps I'll be able to see him in person." Imagine his surprise when the Pope sits down in the seat next to him. Shortly after take-off, the Pope begins a crossword puzzle. Almost immediately, the Pope turns to the gentleman and says, "Excuse me, but do you know a four letter word referring to a woman that ends in 'unt?’" Only one word leaps to mind. "My goodness," thinks the gentleman, "I can't tell the Pope that. There must be another word." The gentleman thinks for quite a while, and then it hits him. Turning to the Pope, the gentleman says, "I think the word you're looking for is 'aunt.’" "Of course," says the Pope. "Do you have an eraser?"

The Drunk and the Nun

There was a guy in a bar one night that got really drunk. I mean really, really, really drunk! When the bar closed he got up to go home.  As he stumbled out the door he saw a nun walking on the sidewalk. So he stumbled over to the nun and punched her in the face!  Well the nun was really surprised but before she could do or say anything he punched her again. This time she fell down and he stumbled over to her and kicked her in the butt.  Then he picked her up and threw her into a wall.  By this time the nun was pretty weak and couldn't move.  So then he stumbled over to her, put his face right next to hers and said. "Not very strong tonight, are you Batman?"

Desert Ride

A nun and a priest are riding a camel through the desert. After a few days the camel falls over dead. After looking over the situation the priest figures neither one of them will survive the rest of the journey.
The priest asks the nun "I have never seen a woman's breasts, and at this point it probably wouldn't matter much, so could I see yours?" The nun agrees and shows him her breasts.   "May I touch them?" asks the priest. The nun allows him to. The priest comments sincerely how wonderful they are.
The nun then asks "Father, I have never seen a man's penis before, could you show me yours?" The priest drops his drawers. "May I touch it?" After she fondles his penis for a minute he sports a huge erection. The priest says, "you know if I place my penis in the proper place it can give life!"
"Is that right" the nun replies? "Yes," says the priest. "Then why don't you stick it up that camels ass and lets get the hell out of here!"