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Religion Jokes
Carrie Fisher
Carrie Fisher is in heaven and she goes into God's office. "I've been up here for a few days, and I don't have a halo yet. George Michael has one, why don't I?"
God explains that there is a back order, but since he loved her in "Star Wars" he will bump her on the list.
So she gets her halo and she's happy for a few days. Then goes back into God's office angry as hell.
"You know, I ran into Dale Earnhardt today. Nice guy, but his halo is 3 times the size if mine. I was Princess Leia, and all he did was drive a car and turn left."
God interrupts her and tells her "That's not a halo it's a steering wheel."
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Salman Rushdie's Sequels
Q: Heard about Salman Rushdie's sequels to "Satanic Verses"?
A: 1) Buddha, you Fat Fucking Bastard, 2) Jesus was a Lousy Carpenter.
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Sunday School
A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "Honor thy father and thy mother," she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?" Without missing a beat, one little boy answered, "Thou shall not kill."
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