St. Paul Vs Minneapolis

Q: Why did everyone in Minneapolis quit going to church and lose their faith?
A There are a dozen pages in the Bible about St. Paul, but nothing about Minneapolis.

Men's Rude Awakening

The men who do make it to Heaven are going to have a rude awakening up there when they find out two things:
God is a woman...and she nailed down all of Heaven's toilet seats!

The Hundred Nuns

One day in the convent the nuns had their morning prayer session. At the end of the prayer session the head nun stood up and addressed the rest of the nuns. She said, "There was a man in the convent last night." 99 of the nuns go ohhh, and 1 of them goes hee hee hee. The head nun goes on, "We found a condom in the garden." Again 99 of the nuns go ohhhh, 1 nun goes hee hee hee. The head nun continues "There was a hole in that condom." 99 nuns go hee hee hee, 1 nun goes ohhh.