The Unhappy Nun

The contemplative routine of the convent was being disrupted by the presence of workmen converting the electrical service from overhead lines to buried cable. Mother Superior called the electric company's complaint department to ask for help. "The profanity these men use constantly is unsuitable for our community.  You must make them stop cursing so much.", said the nun. "Very well, sister.  But you must make allowances for their habits. Even when they are trying to be tactful, they will still tend to call a spade a spade.", said the company spokeswoman.  Mother superior then observed, "I think the term they actually use is 'fucking shovel!'".

Priests' Underwear

Q: Why did the Priest wear underwear in the shower?
A: He didn't want to look down on the unemployed.

Parrot Manner Lessons

A middle aged woman lived alone except for her pet, a male parrot. The woman was very proud of her parrot because it would sit in the bottom of its cage, cross its wings, and pray. She was also a devout church goer and would often brag to the congregation about her faithful parrot. One day the women was boasting about her parrot's prayers. An older gentleman was simply amazed by this. ''I have a female parrot and she's just terrible. My son raised her and all she does is curse. She's the most foul mouthed creature I've ever heard,'' he sighed. ''Maybe if we put my parrot with your parrot he would teach mine how to pray and stop cursing so much.'' The woman readily agreed to this and a few days later the gentleman brought his parrot by. The woman's parrot sat praying in the bottom of the cage as they placed the female inside with him. The parrot instantly stopped praying, hopped up, looked the female over and shouted, ''Hot damn!! This is what I've been praying for!!''