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Religion Jokes
Higher Power
A Sunday school teacher said to her children, "We have been learning how powerful kings and queens were in Bible times. But, there is a higher power. Can anybody tell me what it is?" One child blurted out, "Aces!"
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Noah Multiply
After the flood, Noah tells the animals from the Arc to "go forth and multiply."
After a few months, Noah figures he better wander around and see how the animals are doing. Everybody is happy until he comes across a couple of snakes - they are quite downcast and not very happy. Noah asks what wrong, and they say "We are Adders, so we can't multiply!"
Noah rubs his chin for a few moments, and then goes into the forest, cuts down a couple of trees, and makes a table out of them.
Then he puts the snakes up on the platform he has made, and says "Now you should be happy. Everybody knows that adders can multiply with log tables!"
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New York to San Francisco
A man was driving from New York to San Francisco. He got as far as Cleveland, when he realized he was getting terribly horny. So he looked up a house of ill repute and took care of the problem. Immediately, a severe guilt reaction set in, so he went to confession. For penance, he was told to say 10,000 Hail Mary's. So he went on driving and praying. By the time he got through with the 10,000 Hail Mary's, he was approaching San Francisco. Suddenly he realized he was terribly horny. So he looked up a house of ill repute, and had an orgy. Again there was a severe guilt reaction, so he went to confession. It was an old Irish priest who said, "For penance say three Hail Mary's". The man said, "What?? In Cleveland, I had to say 10,000 Hail Mary's for the same thing. Father replied quietly, "Sure now, and what would they know about fucking in Cleveland?".
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