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Relationship Jokes - Marriage Jokes
Costco Memorial
A woman and her friend are sitting together having lunch after one of the women's husband's funeral service. The friend asks the woman if her husband had any life insurance, and the widow answered her. "Well, he had $35,000 in life insurance, but it is all gone."
"All gone?", the friend asks, shocked.
"Yes", said the widow.
"I don't understand", says the friend. "How did you already go through $35,000?"
"Well, it is really not as bad as you think," said the widow. "I had to pay $8500 for his funeral and burial, $500 was donated to the church for the service, $1000 was what I spent on his suit, and $25,000 was for the memorial stone."
Puzzled, the friend looks at the widow and said, "That must have been a huge stone for $25,000!"
The widow answered, "Yeah, 3 carats! It was a great deal, I got it at Costco."
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Helicopter Ride
A man and his wife go to a county fair for 50 years and every year the man said he would love to go on the helicopter but his wife said £50 is £50. One year the pilot heard this and said if you don't make a sound on the flight you can ride for free. So the pilot did everything he could to make them make a sound even loop the loops and at the end the pilot said, "Congratulations you didn't make a sound." The man said, "I almost made a sound when my wife fell out but £50 is £50."
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How To Get Rid Of Roaches
Q: How does the single woman get rid of roaches?
A: She asks them for a commitment.
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