Check Who It Is

One day Stan comes home from a hard day at work. He sees his wife bending down to clean the floor under the sofa. So Stan goes over to his wife and starts fucking her from behind. After he finishes, he gives her a hard smack to the head. His wife yells, ''What was that for!?'' To which Stan replies, ''That's for not checking to see who it was.''

Half Drunk

Irritated Wife: What do you mean by coming home half drunk? Hubby: It's not my fault...I ran out of money!

Nosy Husband

My wife thinks I'm too nosy.  At least that's what she keeps writing in her diary!