What Is A Penis

On the first evening of their honeymoon, they are sitting on the balcony of the hotel while the sun is setting. "Honey," she says, "now that we're married, will you tell me what a penis is?" He almost fell off the chair when he heard her ask. So, being her husband, he led her into their room and took his pants off. "*This, my love, is a penis." he told her. "Oh!" she exclaimed. "It looks like a dick, but only much smaller!"

Go Farther

Johnny and Betsy just got married after having graduated as Aggies and are driving to Austin for their honeymoon. Along the way, Johnny, who's at the wheel, reaches over and places his hand on Betsy's knee. Betsy smiles and blushes, and says, "Oh Johnny, we're married now, you can go farther than that!"
So they drove to Laredo for their honeymoon instead.

Don't Say To Pregnant Wife

Things you don't say to your pregnant wife after her ultrasound;

1. Thirsty?
2. Where did the extra set of arms come from?
3. Why does it look so much like a lizard?
4. So, what are the characteristics of hermaphroditism?
5. Could we do that again? The nurse had me distracted.