Relationship Jokes - Marriage Jokes

One Last Night

One day, this guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. Then he asks for another.  After a couple more drinks, the bartender gets worried.  "What's the matter?", the bartender asks. "My wife and I got into a fight," explained the guy, "and now she is refusing to talk to me for a whole 31 days." The bartender thought about this for a while. "But, isn't it a good thing that she isn't talking to you?", asked the bartender. " Yeah, except tonight is the last night."

Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Husband

The only one of your children who does not grow up and move away is your husband.

Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Three of Us

A couple of years ago, I was about to propose to my girlfriend when my new roommate Joe barged into the room from nowhere, tripped and broke the glass table with his face. It totally ruined the moment. I didn't know Joe that well, didn't know where he was from, but i put my proposal on hold just to help him with his injuries.
Joe had shards of glass removed from his eye. He was walking around with one of those cotton pads on his eye for a couple of months. Then suddenly, he disappeared along with my girlfriend.
Apparently they bonded during the time he was recovering and had eloped together, leaving me behind without even a note. I tried tracking them down, but to no avail.
In conclusion, if it hadn't been for the cotton eye Joe, I'd have been married a long time ago. Where did you come from, where did you go? Where did you come from, cotton eye Joe?

Anonymous
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