Bookworm

"For Heaven's sake, Chris, why can't you talk to me once in a while?", Julie whined. "What?", Chris replied. "Look around!", Julie yelled, as she pointed around the room. "Look at all these books! You always have your head buried in a book! You don't even seem to know I'm alive!" "I'm sorry, honey," Chris said. "Sometimes I wish I were a book. Maybe then you'd at least look at me!" Julie exclaimed. "Hmmmm," Chris mumbled, "that's not such a bad idea. Then I could take you to the library every few days and change you for something more interesting."

Save The Country

A woman shows up at the white house in a trench coat and scarf and says, "I received your emergency phone call, Mrs. Clinton, and came right away, but what could "I" possibly do to save the country?" Mrs. Clinton said "Come inside and let me explain, Mrs. Bobbit..."

Superbowl Seat

Bob received a free ticket to the Superbowl from his company. Unfortunately, when Bob arrived at the stadium he realizes the seat is in the last row in the corner of the stadium -- he is closer to the Goodyear Blimp than the field. About halfway through the first quarter, Bob noticed an empty seat 10 rows off the field right on the 50 yard line. He decided to take a chance and makes his way through the stadium and around the security guards to the empty seat. As he sat down, he asked the gentleman sitting next to him, "Excuse me, is anyone sitting here?" The man said "no". Very excited to be in such a great seat for the game, Bob said to the man next to him, "This is incredible! Who in their right mind would have a seat like this at the Superbowl and not use it?!" The man replied, "Well, actually, the seat belongs to me, I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first Superbowl we haven't been to together since we got married in 1967." "That's really sad," says Bob, "but still, couldn't you find someone to take the seat? A relative or a close friend?" "No," the man replied, "they're all at the funeral."