Relationship Jokes - Man Criticizes Woman

Nude Sunbathing

A man was sunbathing naked at the beach. For the sake of civility, and to keep it from getting sunburned, he had a hat over his privates. A woman walks past and says, snickering, "If you were a gentleman you'd tip your hat."
He raised an eyebrow and replied, "If you weren't so ugly, it would tip itself."

Categories: Appearance Jokes (Ugly Jokes) , Relationship Jokes (Man Criticizes Woman)
Anonymous

The Freudian Slip

Ted and John are setting in the bar and John asked Ted if he bought the train tickets to go see the Steelers game this weekend. Ted says yea and kinda looked a little funny. John said is there anything wrong? Ted said naw, everythings OK. They take a few more sips of beer and Ted ask John if he had ever embarrassed himself by saying something he didnít mean to say. John said sure, it happens to everyone. Ted said there ís a name for that isn't there... you know, where you accidently use the wrong words when you are trying to say something. Yea, says John, it ís called a Freudian slip. Yea, thats it said Ted, I couldnít think of the word. Why are you asking said John?  Well, yesterday I went to the train station to get the train tickets for Pittsburg, and the girl selling tickets has this incredible set of jugs. I pulled out the money and laid it on the counter and asked her to give me two pickets to Titsburg and then had to embarrassingly say I mean two tickets to Pittsburg. God, it just embarrassed the shit out of me. You ever done anything that stupid?  Funny you would ask, said John. Just this morning my wife and I were having breakfast... I meant to say, dear, would you please pass me the sugar, but instead I said, "You fucking bitch, youíve ruined my life."

Categories: Relationship Jokes (Man Criticizes Woman) , Sex Jokes (Private Parts)
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Too Much Celebrating

The couple was dining out when the wife noticed a familiar face at the bar. "Elliot," she said, pointing, "do you see that man downing bourbon at the bar?"
The husband looked over and nodded. "Well," the woman continued, "he's been drinking like that for 10 years, ever since I jilted him!"
The husband returned to his meal. "Nonsense," he said, "even that's not worth so much celebrating!"

Categories: Relationship Jokes (Marriage Jokes) , Relationship Jokes (Man Criticizes Woman) , Relationship Jokes (Break-up Jokes) , Alcohol Jokes (Whiskey Jokes) , Bar Jokes (Drunk Jokes)
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous
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