The Rubdown

A hospital patient, recovering from minor surgery, was being given an alcohol rubdown by two of the hospital's more attractive nurses. While manipulating the man's body they noted that the word "tiny" was tattooed on the head of his penis.
Some months after the man's discharge, Mary, one of the nurses, told Joan, the other, that she had dated their former patient. "How could you go out with a man that had 'tiny' tattooed on his love stick?" exclaimed Joan.
"How could I indeed!" said Mary. "It said 'tiny' when it was soft, but when aroused, it spelled: 'Tiny's Delicatessen & Catering Service. We deliver at all times, twenty-four hours a day!!!'"

The Ideal Date

IDEAL DATE:

• At 17 - Triple Stephen King feature at a drive-in
• At 25 -  "Split the check before we go back to my place"
• At 35 - "Just come over."
• At 48 - "Just come over and cook."
• At 66 - Sex in the company jet on the way to Vegas.

Good Morning

"Sometimes I wake up grumpy, other times I let her sleep"