Paddy's Roses

A romantic Irishman named Paddy picked up a dozen valentines day roses for his girlfriend. He made a surprise visit to her house and rang her bell. When she opened the door and saw Paddy with the roses she smiled and gave Paddy a big kiss. Then she pulled Paddy into her apartment, seductively got undressed, sat on the couch and spread her legs wide. She said, Paddy, this is for the roses. Paddy said, Don't be silly, you must have a vase somewhere.

Under Arrest

My girlfriend dressed up as a policewoman and told me I was under arrest on suspicion of being good in bed.
After 2 minutes all charges were dropped due to a lack of evidence.

Blonde Dating

Q: How can you tell when a blonde is dating?
A: By the buckle print on her forehead.