Marriage Advice And Quotes

• A man must marry only a very pretty woman in case he should ever want some other man to take her off his hands. - Guitry
• Ah Mozart! He was happily married, but his wife wasn't. - Borge
• Always talk to your wife while you're making love... if there's a phone handy.
• An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have; the older she gets, the more interested he is in her. -- Agatha Christie
• And I shall love thee still my dear, until my wife is wise.
• Bachelor: the only man who has never told his wife a lie.
• Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.
• By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. - Socrates

Wife Losing Interest

Q: How does a man know when his wife is losing interest?
A: When her favorite sexual position is "next door".

80 Years Old

An elderly man goes into confession and says to the priest, "Father, I'm 80 years old, married, have four kids and 11 grandchildren. I started taking this new Viagra pill, and last night I had an affair and made love to two 18-year-old girls. Both of them. Twice."
The priest said, "Well, my son, when was the last time you were in confession?"
"Never Father, I'm Jewish."
"So then, why are you telling me?"
"Because I'm telling everybody!"