Engaged To Kate and Edith

An airplane pilot got engaged to two very pretty women at the same time. One was named Edith; the other named Kate.
They met, discovered they had the same fiancee, and told him, "Get out of our lives you rascal.  We'll teach you that you can't have your Kate and Edith, too."

Saintly Naivete

I've never been much on fashion, but got quite a few compliments on a new sports jacket I wore to work one day.  My secretary asked me where I got it and I told her that it was a surprise from my wife. I went home early yesterday and there it was, on the back of a kitchen chair.

Marriage Advice And Quotes

• A man must marry only a very pretty woman in case he should ever want some other man to take her off his hands. - Guitry
• Ah Mozart! He was happily married, but his wife wasn't. - Borge
• Always talk to your wife while you're making love... if there's a phone handy.
• An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have; the older she gets, the more interested he is in her. -- Agatha Christie
• And I shall love thee still my dear, until my wife is wise.
• Bachelor: the only man who has never told his wife a lie.
• Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.
• By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. - Socrates