What's He Up To

Q: How can you tell if a man's playing around?
A: He sends you love notes that are photocopied and begin with the line, "To whom it may concern..."

Pondering Collection Continued

• I tried sniffing Coke once, but the ice cubes froze the end of my nose.
• The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
• Why is the word big so little and the word little so big?
• Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?
• Does the Little Mermaid wear an algebra?
• Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
• How do I set my laser printer on stun?
• How is it possible to have a civil war?
• If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
• If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

Three Men to Pearly Gates

Three guys were at the Pearly Gates when Peter answered. He said there was one space open for someone. He asked them how they died. "I came home one day and saw my wife in bed, naked. I looked all over the house and decided to check the balcony. I saw some fingers so I took a hammer and hit his fingers but a bush broke his fall so I took my fridge and threw it on him. But I felt so bad for killing a man that I killed myself." "I was painting on the 37th floor, when I slipped and fell. I was holding on to a balcony, when some guy hit me on the fingers with a hammer so I fell, and then dropped a fridge on me." "I was hiding innnocently in the fridge."