Bill and Hillary's Bed

Bill and Hillary are fast asleep in the First Bedroom, when Hillary wakes and starts shaking Bill. Bill groggily opens his eyes and says, "Honey, it's 3am.  What do you want?"
"I have to go use the bathroom," Hillary replies. Bill blinks.   "Please tell me you didn't wake me up just to tell me you have to go to the bathroom." "No," Hillary says, "I just wanted to tell you to save my spot."

Creative Sex!

Morris complained to his friend Irving, that love making with his wife was becoming routine and boring. "Get creative Morris. Break up the monotony. Why don't you try 'playing doctor' for an hour? That's what I do," said Irving. "Sounds great," Morris replied, "but how do you make it last for an hour?" "That's easy...just keep her in the waiting room for 59 minutes!"

Wedding Day Baseball

There was a man named Joe playing baseball on his wedding day. The guy at the plate hits the ball, and it nails Joe right in the genitals. His teammates rush him to the hospital and take him into the emergency room. As he's lying on the table the doctor looks at him and says, ''That's pretty bad. I don't think there's anything I can do for that.'' Joe says, ''Oh please doc it's my wedding night. You've gotta do something!'' The doctor then says, ''Well, I can put two tongue depressors around it and wrap it with gauze tape to immobilize it.'' Joe says, ''Oh thank you, doc. Just don't tell my fiancé.'' They get married and later that night Joe's lying on the bed and his wife comes out in a sexy outfit. She unbuttons it, grabs her breasts and says, ''Do you see these beautiful breasts? No one else has ever seen these. I've been saving them just for you.'' ''Thats nothing,'' Joe replies. He pulls down his pants and says, ''Look at this. It's not even out of the box yet!''