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Relationship Jokes
A Girl Goes in for Heart Surgery
A girl says, "I'm having heart surgery today." The boy says, "I know." The girl says, "I love you!" The boy says, "I love you more, much much more!" After the surgery, when the girl woke up, only her father was next to her bed. The girl says, "Where is he?" The father responded, "You don't know who gave you the heart?" The girl says, "What!?" and started crying. The father says, "I'm just kidding, he went to the bathroom."
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Lights Off for 30 Years
A man and woman had been married for 30 years, and in those 30 years, they always left the lights off when having sex. He was embarrassed and scared that he couldn't please her, so he always used a big dildo on her. All these years she had no clue. One day, she decided to reach over and flip the light switch on and saw that he was using a dildo. She said "I knew it, asshole, explain the dildo!" He replied, "Explain the kids!"
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Clinton Surprise
Hillary Clinton goes in for her annual gynecological exam. The doctor tells her she's pregnant. Hillary realizes this will eliminate her chance to run for president and storms out of the office to call Bill. "You got me pregnant! How could you be so careless?" After a moment of stunned silence, Bill says, "Who is this?"
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