Still Dancing

A husband takes his wife to a disco and they see a guy on the dance floor living it large, break dancing, moon walking, doing back flips, the works.  The wife turns to her husband and says, "See that guy? Twenty-five years ago he proposed to me and I turned him down."
The husband looks over and says, "Yeah? Looks like he's still celebrating!" 

The Real Joe Schmoe!

Joe was not a very romantic person, furthermore he was rather stupid. However, he wanted to impress his wife, so he took her out for an anniversary dinner and watched the couples around them, following their leads. He observed the couple next to him. The man lifted a sugar shaker towards his wife's cup and said, "Sugar, sugar?" Joe thought this was great and continued to listen around the dining room. Another table over Joe observed the following, a man spooned out some honey out of a bowl for his wife and asked, "Honey, honey?" Again Joe thought this was good stuff. Finally, he cut off a piece of his meat, stared longingly into his young wife's eyes and said, "Ham, pig?"

Snow Plow Driver from North Dakota

This snow plow driver from North Dakota got married. He and his new bride prepared for their wedding night. He watched for a while as she spread three different kinds of creams and then a white foam in preparation for their love making. She finally announced that she was ready. The man then asked if she still had that string of pearls necklace that he admired so much. She replied, "Well, yes darling, I do, but what in the world would you need it for at a time like this ? He looked again at all her "preparations" and replied, "Ain't no way I'm gonna try to go into a mess like that without chains."