Relationship Jokes

The Moment of Truth!

A man goes to visit the grave of his mother, puts a beautiful bouquet at the headstone and gets up, to leave when he notices another man crying his heart out, lying on one of the graves in such a way, that he breaks the other man's heart. The sobbing goes on and on and he hears the other say: Oh why? Why did you have to die!? Why did you go? And then he breaks down sobbing again, hitting his head over the headstone, still crying: Oh why did you die!? Why did you go so soon? Intringued, the other guy goes to him and says: "I'm so sorry for your loss, is there anything I can do for you? Who is the person you are crying over so desperately, he asks, in compassion?" "That's my wife's third husband, comes the reply, between sobs. I'm number four....."

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Anonymous

Too Good To Be True

A Russian, an Italian and an Irishman got out of work and were deciding where to go for a drink. The Irishman said "Let's all go to O'Learys. With every third round, the bartender will give each of us a free Guiness." The Italian said "That sounds good, but if we go to Baldini's with every third round they bring a free bottle of wine to the table." The Russian said "That sounds fine but if we go to Gouvstof's we drink for free all night and then go out into the parking lot and get laid." "That sounds to good to be true!" the Irishman exclaimed. "Have you actually been there?" "No," the Russian replied, "but my wife goes there all the time."

Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Heart Attack

A man comes home and hears hard breathing and female noises from inside the apartment.  He walks inside to find his wife on the floor of the living room naked. His wife yells, "Help, help, I am having a heart attack!"
The husband runs in the other room to call the doctor when one of his kids run up to him and says, "Daddy, daddy, there is a naked man in the closet."
Husband opens the closet door and sees his friend Bob. He yells at Bob, "Bob, god damn it, my wife is having a heart attack and here you are trying to scare the kids!!!"

Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous
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