You Might Be A Redneck 48

You might be a redneck if...

• You have every episode of "Hee Haw" on tape.
• Your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than grandpa.
• Your masseuse uses lard.
• Your wife's best shoes have steel toes.
• You use your fishing license as a form of I.D.
• On stag night, you take a real deer.
• Your back porch is bigger than your house.
• There is more oil in your cap than in your car.
• You think a hot tub is a stolen bathroom fixture.
• A full-grown ostrich has fewer feathers than your cowboy hat.

You Might Be A Redneck 11

You might be a redneck if...

• You've ever worn shorts to a funeral home.
• You think that the styrofoam cooler is the greatest invention of all time.
• You've ever been too drunk to fish.
• You've ever bought a used cap.
• You had to remove a toothpick for wedding pictures.
• You've ever used a weedeater indoors.
• Your mama tore her best dress coon hunting.
• You have a rag for a gas cap (on a car that does run).
• You look upon a family reunion as a chance to meet `Ms. Right'.
• You have to go outside to get something out of the 'fridge.

You Might Be A Redneck...

You might be a redneck if...

• Your soap on a rope doubles as an air freshener.
• Your wife's hairdo attracts bees.
• Your baby's first words are "Attention K-Mart shoppers."
• The antenna on your truck is a danger to low flying airplanes.
• Your primary source of income is the pawn shop.
• You pick your teeth from a catalog.
• You've ever financed a tattoo.
• You refer to the time you won a free case of oil as the "day my ship came in."
• Your hairdo has ever been ruined by a ceiling fan.
• Your mother has been involved in a fist fight at a high school sports event.