From Us

The teacher walks in and finds an apple on her desk with the letters "ILU" written on it. The teacher asks who left it. A little white girl raises her hand. "Well sweetie, what does ILU mean?" The little girl replies, "I love you."
The teacher says, "Isn't that sweet," and continues with class. The next day the teacher finds a banana on her desk with the letters "YAS" written on it. The teacher asks who left and what does it mean. A little white boy raises his hand and says, "It means, You are special." "Thank you sweetheart", the teacher says.
The following day, the teacher walks in to find a watermelon with the letters "FUCK" written on it. The enraged teacher asks who left it and if they know what that means. A little black girl raises her hand and cheerfully says, "Yes maam, I left it. It means, from us colored kids!".

Mexican Acronym

A cowboy walks into a bar, sits down, and asks for a shot. Across the bar, a Mexican man is sitting and glaring at the cowboy. The cowboy takes the shot and slams the shot glass down on the counter, yelling, "TGIF!" The Mexican orders a shot, takes it, and slams his glass down, yelling, "SPIT!" The cowboy looks over at him and notices the Mexican guy is still staring at him. The cowboy once again orders a shot, slams it down, and yells again "TGIF!" Once again, the Mexican orders a shot, slams it down after consuming it, and yells out, "SPIT!" This goes on for a while, and the bartender stands puzzled and annoyed. Finally, the bartender asks the cowboy, "Just checking, but do you know what TGIF means?" and the cowboy replies, "Hell ya I know what it means, 'Thank God It's Friday!'" The bartender asks the Mexican guy, "Okay, so what does 'SPIT' mean?" and the Mexican replies, "Stupid Pendejo It's Thursday!"

Chinese and Spielberg

A Chinese man walks into a bar in America late one night and he sees Steven Spielberg. As he was a great fan of his movies, he rushes over to him, and asks for his autograph. Instead, Spielberg gives him a slap and says, "You Chinese people bombed our Pearl Harbor, get outta here!"
The astonished Chinese man replied, "It was not the Chinese who bombed your Pearl Harbor, it was the Japanese!"  "Chinese, Japanese, Taiwanese you're all the same," replied Spielberg.  
In return, the Chinese man gives Spielberg a slap and says, "You sank the Titanic, my forefathers were on that ship." Shocked, Spielberg replies, "It was the iceberg that sank the ship, not me!"
The Chinese man, replies, "Iceberg, Spielberg, Carlsberg, you're all the same!"