Obama Golf

During his golfing vacation at Martha's Vineyard, President Obama had been slicing off the tee on every hole. He asked his Scottish caddy if he had noticed any obvious reasons for his poor tee shots, to which the caddy replied: "Aye, there's a piece of shyt on the end of yer driver". The President picked up his driver and cleaned the club face, at which point the caddy said, "No, the other end".

Clinton's Choice

There once was a gal named Lewinsky, Who played music like a Stravinsky. 'Twas "Hail to the Chief" On this flute made of beef, That stole the front page from Kaczynski. Said Bill Clinton to young Ms. Lewinsky, "We don't want to leave clues like Kaczynski. Since you look such a mess, Use the hem of your dress, And wipe that goo off of your chinsky." Lewinsky and Clinton have shown, What Kaczynski must surely have known: That an intern is better, Than a bomb in a letter, Given the choice of how to be blown.

Settle This With Fishing

The Presidential election was too close to call. Neither the Republican candidate nor the Democratic candidate had enough votes to win. There was much talk about ballot recounting, court challenges, etc., but a week-long ice fishing competition seemed the sportsmanlike way to settle things. The candidate that caught the most fish at the end of the week would win the election. Therefore, it was decided that there should be an ice fishing contest between the two candidates to determine the winner. After much of back and forth discussion, it was decided that the contest take place on a remote frozen lake in northern Minnesota. There were to be no observers present, and both men were to be sent out separately on this isolated lake and return at 5 P.M. with their catch for counting and verification by a team of neutral parties. At the end of the first day, John McCain returned to the starting line and he had ten fish. Soon, Obama returned and had no fish. Well, everyone assumed he was just having another 'bad hair' day or something and hopefully, he would catch up the next day. At the end of the 2nd day McCain came in with 20 fish and Obama came in again with none. That evening, Harry Reid got together secretly with Obama and said, 'Obama, I think John McCain is a low-life, cheatin' son-of-a-gun. I want you to go out tomorrow and don't even bother with fishing. Just spy on him and see just how he is cheating.' The next night (after McCain returns with 50 fish), Harry Reid asks Obama, 'Well, tell me... how is John McCain cheating?' Obama replied, 'Harry, you're not going to believe this, but he's cutting holes in the ice.'

Moral of the Story: Experience Counts.