Settle This With Fishing

The Presidential election was too close to call. Neither the Republican candidate nor the Democratic candidate had enough votes to win. There was much talk about ballot recounting, court challenges, etc., but a week-long ice fishing competition seemed the sportsmanlike way to settle things. The candidate that caught the most fish at the end of the week would win the election. Therefore, it was decided that there should be an ice fishing contest between the two candidates to determine the winner. After much of back and forth discussion, it was decided that the contest take place on a remote frozen lake in northern Minnesota. There were to be no observers present, and both men were to be sent out separately on this isolated lake and return at 5 P.M. with their catch for counting and verification by a team of neutral parties. At the end of the first day, John McCain returned to the starting line and he had ten fish. Soon, Obama returned and had no fish. Well, everyone assumed he was just having another 'bad hair' day or something and hopefully, he would catch up the next day. At the end of the 2nd day McCain came in with 20 fish and Obama came in again with none. That evening, Harry Reid got together secretly with Obama and said, 'Obama, I think John McCain is a low-life, cheatin' son-of-a-gun. I want you to go out tomorrow and don't even bother with fishing. Just spy on him and see just how he is cheating.' The next night (after McCain returns with 50 fish), Harry Reid asks Obama, 'Well, tell me... how is John McCain cheating?' Obama replied, 'Harry, you're not going to believe this, but he's cutting holes in the ice.'

Moral of the Story: Experience Counts.

Light Bulb - Liberals

Q: How many liberals does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None: They can't remove the old ones since they are already part of the environment.

Biden's New Golf Rules

President Biden has recently appointed a Golf Czar and major rule changes in the game of golf will become effective September 1,2021. This is only a preview as the complete rule book (expect 2000 pages) is being rewritten as we speak
Here are a few of the changes.
Golfers with handicaps: 
- below 10 will have their green fees increased by 35% 
- between 11 and 18 will see no increase in green fees 
- above 18 will get a $20 check each time they play
The term "gimmie" will be changed to “entitlement" and will be used as follows: 
- handicaps below 10, no entitlements
- handicaps from 11 to 17, entitlements for putter length putts
- handicaps above 18, if your ball is on green, no need to putt, just pick it up
These entitlements are intended to bring about fairness and, most importantly, equality in scoring. In addition, a Player will be limited to a maximum of one birdie or six pars in any given 18-hole round. Any excess must be given to those fellow players who have not yet scored a birdie or par. Only after all players have received a birdie or par from the player actually making the birdie or par, can that player begin to count his pars and birdies again. 
The current USGA handicap system will be used for the above purposes, but the term "net score" will be available only for scoring those players with handicaps of 18 and above. 
This is intended to "re-distribute" the success of winning by making sure that in every competition, the above 18 handicap players will post only "net score" against every other player's "gross score". These new Rules are intended to CHANGE the game of golf. 
Golf must be about Fairness. It should have nothing to do with ability, hard work, practice, and responsibility. This is "The Right Thing to do - Man"