Medicare Part G

Two senior citizens are lamenting about the lack of good nursing homes.  One of the seniors says he's considering taking advantage of Medicare 'Part G'  The plan gives anyone 75 or older a gun (Part "G") and one bullet. You're allowed to shoot one worthless politician. This means you will be sent to prison for the rest of your life where you will receive three meals a day, a roof over your head, central heating and air conditioning, cable TV, a library, and all the Health Care you need. Need new teeth? No problem. Need glasses? That's great. Need a hearing aid, new hip, knees, kidney, lungs, sex change, or heart? They are all covered! As an added bonus, your kids can come and visit you at least as often as they do now!  And, who will be paying for all of this? The same government that just told you they can't afford for you to go into a nursing home. And you will get rid of a useless politician while you are at it. As an added bonus, because you're a prisoner, you don't have to pay any more income taxes! Is this a great country or what?  Now that you've solved your senior financial plan, enjoy the rest of your week.

Attributes of Clinton's Health Plan

The Clinton Health Plan has the:
1. Simplicity of the IRS.
2. Results of rent control.
3. Efficiency of the Post Office.
4. The fringe benefits of higher taxes
5. Management success of national debt.
6. Bureaucracy of the Dept. of Agriculture.
7. Dependency of a weather forecaster. 

Monica Back in the News

AP - Monica Lewinsky, in a statement released today, "I have had enough. This whole experience has left a bitter taste in my mouth, and I can't stomach any more. I feel as if I am getting the shaft, that this ugly matter has come to a head and blown up in my face." "This may be a load to handle, but when things are hard, that is when I am at my best. I have faced hard things in the past, and I know what is coming. I will meet this challenge the only way that I know how: head on." "I have licked bigger things than this before, and I will again. No one will ever be able to say that Monica Lewinsky isn't a finisher, that she quit before the job was done. I will work non-stop and fight this, blow by blow, until I am wiped clean of this dirty affair. I will not be stained by it." "Thank you." Monica Lewinsky