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One-Liner Jokes
Personal Trainer
I have a personal trainer. She makes me chase rabbits though the woods three times a day at a dead run. Also, she has 4 legs and a tail.
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Business Laws
Rhode's Corollary To Hoare's Law: Inside every complex and unworkable program is a useful routine struggling to be free.
Ross's Law: Bare feet magnetize sharp metal objects so they always point upwards from the floor-especially in the dark.
Rudin's Law: In a crisis that forces a choice to be made among alternative courses of action, people tend to choose the worst possible course.
Rudnicki's Nobel Prize Principle: Only someone who understands something absolutely can explain it so no one else can understand it.
Rule Of Accuracy: When working toward the solution of a problem it always helps you to know the answer.
Ryan's Law: Make three correct guesses consecutively and you will establish yourself as an expert.
Sattinger's Law: It works better if you plug it in.
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Business Laws B&C
Bureau Termination, Law of: When a government bureau is scheduled to be phased out, the number of employees in that bureau will double within 12 months after the decision is made.
Brooke's Law: Whenever a system becomes completely defined, some fool discovers something which either abolishes the system or expands it beyond recognition.
Calkin's Law of Menu Language: The number of adjectives and verbs that are added to the description of a menu item is in inverse proportion to the quality of the dish.
Canada Bill Jones's Motto: It is morally wrong to allow suckers to keep their money.
Canada Bill Jones's Supplement: A Smith and Wesson beats four aces.
Captain Penny's Law: You can fool all of the people some of the time, and some of the people all of the time, but you Can't Fool Mom.
Carlson's Consolation: Nothing is ever a complete failure; it can always serve as a bad example.
Carson's Observation on Footwear: If the shoe fits, buy the other one, too.
Chisolm's Law of Completion: The amount of time required to complete a government project is precisely equal to the length of time already spent on it.
Chisolm's First Corollary to Murphy's Second Law: When things just can't possibly get any worse, they will.
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