If It Business Lines

• If it looks too good to be true, it is too good to be true.
• If it says "one size fits all," it doesn't fit anyone.
• If it weren't for the last minute, nothing would ever get done.
• If it works, don't fix it!
• If idiots could fly, this world would be an airport.
• If more than one person is responsible for a miscalculation, no one will be at fault.
• If Murphy's Law can go wrong, it will.
• If not controlled, work will flow to the competent man until he submerges.
• If on an actuarial basis there is a 50-50 chance that something will go wrong, it will actually go wrong nine times out of ten.
• If only one price can be obtained for a quotation, the price will be unreasonable.

Her New Job

A very modest lady applied for a job at the factory where they made "Tickle me Elmo" dolls.. It was Friday and almost quitting time and hurriedly the boss told her to report for work on Monday. He quickly explained to her that she would be stationed on the assembly line just before the dolls were packed into boxes. On Monday they started up the line and within twenty minutes had to shut it down because one worker couldn't keep up. The boss went down the line to find the problem. The new employee was very busy trying to do her part but she had a bunch of dolls waiting for her. Closer examination showed that she was sewing little cloth bags containing two walnuts in the appropriate place on the dolls. The boss could not control his laughter and said, "Lady, I said to give each doll Two----Test----Tickles."

Business One Liners - O

• Old programmers never die, they just abend.
• On a beautiful day like this, it's hard to believe anybody can be unhappy; but we will work on it.
• On successive charts of the same organization, the number of boxes will never decrease.
• One child is not enough, but two children are far too many.
• One good thing about repeating your mistakes is that you know when to cringe.
• One machine can do the work of fifty ordinary men. No machine can do the work of one extraordinary man. - Elbert Hubbard
• One of the greatest labor-saving inventions today is tomorrow.
• One of those days? I have one of those lives.
• One seventh of your life is spent on Mondays.