No Brakes

Did you ever hear about Blitzen the brown nosed reindeer? He is twice as fast as Rudolf but doesn't stop as quick!

Trying to be Impressive

A young lawyer, starting up his private practice, was very anxious to impress potential clients. When he saw the first visitor to his office come through the door, he immediately picked up his phone and spoke into it, "I'm sorry, but my caseload is so tremendous that I'm not going to be able to look into your problem for at least a month. I'll have to get back to you then." He then turned to the man who had just walked in, and said, "Now, what can I do for you?"
"Nothing," replied the man. "I'm here to hook up your phone."

11 Business One Liners

1. In every work of genius we recognize our rejected thoughts.
2. In order to get a loan, you must first prove you don't need it.
3. In spite of all evidence to the contrary, the entire universe is composed of only two basic substances: magic and lies.
4. In the fight between you and the world, back the world.
5. Incompetence is a double-edged banana.
6. Influence is like a savings account. The less you use it, the more you've got. - Andrew Young, American politician
7. Inspiration and perspiration are related by more than rhyme.
8. Intelligence is a tool to be used towards a goal, and goals are not always chosen intelligently. - Larry Niven 'Protector'
9. Interchangeable parts won't.
10. Incompetence knows no barriers of time or place.
11. It may be that your whole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.