Cat Lost His Money

Q: What did the cat say when he lost all his money?
A: I'm paw!

Three Crooks at Confession

One time three very bad people felt guilty for the different crimes they committed and went to a church to ask God for forgiveness. There, they found a priest. So all three of them went to the priest. The first crook said, "Oh, Father! I have killed an innocent man and now I am feeling very guilty! Please ask God to forgive me!" The priest murmured a blessing and told the crook, "God has forgiven you my son, and now go and drink the water from the well of purity." The Father pointed toward a fountain with sparkling water. The first crook went and drank the water. "The water tastes weird," he said and went away. The second crook came to the priest and said, "Oh, Father! I have stolen a lot of money from many people and now I am feeling very guilty! Please ask God to forgive me!" The priest murmured a blessing and said, "God has forgiven you my son, and now go and drink the water from the well of purity." So the second crook went and drank the sparkling water in the fountain. "This water tastes funny," he said and went away. Now only the third crook remained. "What is it that you did wrong, my son?" the priest asked. With an uneasy look the last crook said, "I peed in the well."

Counterfeited German Currency

Q: What do you call counterfeited German currency?
A: Question marks.