Math & Science Jokes

O Humid Night Song

O Humid Night (Melody: "O Holy Night")
O Humid Night Anopheline mosquitoes Are circling you in the hope of a meal. She takes a bite, saliva from her mouthparts Drool parasites which you can't see or feel Your brain can get sick, You will have a coma After the rage and the headaches have passed You're veggie soup, home to protozoa, Mosquito lands, time to go home at last.. Fall on your knees, Pale, burning with fever Plasmodia Are in your blood, were in your spleen Malaria There's no real cure, just in your dreams... 

Anonymous

Sea-Floor Spreading Lament

Sea-Floor Spreading Lament (folksong) by Brenna Lorenz
Refrain: Alas for the spreading of the ocean, Alas for the spreading of the sea, Alas for every year that passes by, Taking you two inches more from me! Oh, why did you leave our native plate, Causing me to weep and to mourn? With the plates diverging at such a rate, To leave me alone and lorn? If only the mantle would my counsel take, If the Earth would but listen unto me, I'd say, "Your convection cell remake, And bring my darling back to me!" So dive you down, you ocean dark, Part of the mantle be- Fire you up, you island arc - Subduct my darling back to me! 

Anonymous

Economics Ruins Life

Economics is ruining your life when...
- I tried to calculate my 3 year old son's discount rate by seeing how many sweets he would require to be promised to him after dinner to be equivalent to one sweet before dinner. 
- I spent one hour in a toy shop making up over 20 bundles of toys that could be purchased for $25 and then asked my son to select one of these bundles. 

Anonymous
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