Chemistry Song

Chemistry Wonderland Gases explode, are you listenin' 
In your rest tube, silver glistens 
A beautiful sight, we're happy tonight 
Walking in a chemistry wonderland.
Gone away, is the buoyancy
Here to stay, is the density
A beautiful sight, we're happy tonight
Walking in a chemistry wonderland.
In the beaker we will make lead carbonate and decide if what's left is nitrate
My partner asks "Do we measure it in moles or grams?" and I'll say, "Does it matter in the end?"
Later on, as we calculate the amount, of our nitrate
We'll face unafraid, the precipitates that we made walking in a chemistry wonderland. 

Math Lesson

Math Teacher: "Now suppose the number of sheep is x..."
Student: "Yes sir, but what happens if the number of sheep is not x?"

Train - Derail

A train conductor was texting and missed a red block. The train derailed and there was a terrible crash. Only those in the rear of the train survived. He was put on trial for the murder of nearly a hundred people. He was found guilty and sentenced to death by the electric chair.
When asked what he'd like for his last meal, he replied simply with "A banana, if you will." The prison guard shrugged, got a banana, and gave it to the poor man. The conductor ate the banana in regular fashion and braced himself for death. He was seated on the chair, fastened in, and was ready for what was about to happen.
However, after the electricity was activated, nothing happened to the conductor. The prison warden was surprised and, not knowing what to do they decided to let him go unscathed. The prison guard couldn't contain himself. He simply had to ask, "Sir, how did you survive the electric chair? Did the banana have something to do with it?" The conductor responded: "No, I suppose I'm just not a good conductor."