Missed School

A little boy did not go to school one day. The next day, when the teacher asked him why, he said, "Our cow was in heat, so I had to take her to the Bull." "How disgusting," said the teacher. "I'm sure your father could have done that." "No ma'm, he couldn't have," said the little boy. "It has to be the Bull."

Itchy

A teacher notices that a little boy at the back of the class is squirming around, scratching his crotch and not paying attention. She goes back to find out what's up. He's quite embarrassed and whispers that he has just recently been circumcised and he's quite itchy. The teacher tells him to go down to the principal's office, to phone his mum, and ask her what he should do about it. He does this and returns to the class, sits down in his seat and suddenly, there's a general commotion at the back of the room. Back down she goes, only to find him sitting at his desk with his penis hanging out. "I thought I told you to call your mom" she says. "I did" he says. "She told me that if I could stick it out till noon, she'd come and pick me up from school."

Little Johnny Alphabet

The teacher was telling her 4th grade class about today's lesson. "I'll say a letter of the alphabet and you give me a word that starts with that letter. Let's begin. A" All the children raise their hands, but little Johnny was almost coming out of his seat trying to get picked. The teacher knew Johnny had a filthy mouth and thought to herself that if she picked Johnny, he would give her a word like 'ass' or 'asshole'. She picked Wendy, and Wendy said "apple". "Very good", said the teacher, "now B". Johnny was jumping out of his seat again, but the teacher picked Bobby. Bobby said "ball". This went on and on with Johnny trying to get picked for each letter and the teacher knowing there was a dirty word for it. Then she got to "R". Nobody but Johnny had their hands up. The teacher thought and thought and couldn't think of a bad word that started with "R". So she picked Johnny; Johnny stands up and says: "R...Rat...a big, fat, f**kin' Rat!"