No Worries

A fat teenager is sitting on a park bench eating a huge bag of potato chips.
The man sitting next to him looks over and says, "Eating too much junk food is bad for you." The boy looked over and replied, "My great grandfather lived to be one hundred and five". The man replies, "And he ate lots of junk food?"
"No" says the boy, "he minded his own fucking business."

Bottom of the Class

"I'm worried about you always being at the bottom of the class," said the father to his son. "Don't worry Dad," he replied. "They still very much teach the same thing at both ends."

Class Attendance

The teacher was checking her student roster on the first day of school and saw that she was missing three boys and one girl. After a couple of minutes went by, a boy named John walked in and the teacher asked where he was. He said, "Shree Hill." Then another student, named Bill, walked in and the teacher asked where he was. He also said, "Shree Hill." Then the third boy, Shawn, walked in and the teacher asked him where he had been. And he said, "On top of Shree Hill." Then, a girl walked in and the teacher asked, "Who are you?" And she said, "Shree Hill."