Where Does Jewelry Come From

A mother is in the kitchen making dinner for her family when her daughter walks in. “Mother, where do babies come from?” The mother thinks for a few seconds and says, “Well dear, Mommy and Daddy fall in love and get married. One night they go into their bedroom, they kiss and hug and have sex.” The daughter looks puzzled so the mother continues, “That means the daddy puts his penis in the mommy’s vagina. That’s how you get a baby, honey.” The child seems to comprehend. “Oh, I see, but the other night when I came into your room you had daddy’s penis in your mouth. What do you get when you do that?” “Jewelry, my dear. Jewelry.”

Prayground?

Q: Where do religious school children practice sports?
A: In the prayground!

Not Again

I took my four year old granddaughter to the hospital to see her new baby sister. She didn't want anything to do with her. As we were leaving I asked her if she wanted to see the babies in the nursery so I held her up to the window . There was another new born in the same place where her baby sister had been earlier . She looked at me and said "Oh no! Not again!"