Four Phrase Homework

One day, after school was over, a teacher walked up to one of her students. For a school assignment she asked him to find four phrases, write them down then give them back to her the next day. So, the student reached home and asked his mom if she had a phrase. "Shut up!" exclaimed the mom. Next, the student went to his brother and asked if he had a phrase. "Bada bada BATMAN!" laughed the brother. Next, the student went to the neighborhood janitor and asked if he had a phrase. "Garbage, garbage, garbage, nothing but garbage all day long!" complained the janitor. Finally for his final phrase the student asked the town baker if he had a phrase. "My buns are burning, my buns are burning!" shouted the baker. The next day at school the student waltzed up to his teacher's desk. "Do you have your four phrases?" asked the Teacher. "Shut up!" shouted the student. The teacher felling very hurt asked, "Who do you think you are!?" "Bada bada BATMAN" laughed the student. "What are you getting out of all this school?" asked the teacher. "Garbage, garbage, garbage, nothing but garbage all day long!" Then the teacher spanked the student and he went around yelling "MY BUNS ARE BURNING MY BUNS ARE BURNING!"

The Prayer

A little boy wanted $100 badly and prayed for two weeks but nothing happened. Then he decided to write GOD a letter requesting the $100. When the postal authorities received the letter addressed to GOD USA, they decided to send it to the President. The President was so impressed, touched, and amused that he instructed his secretary to send the little boy a $5.00 bill. The President thought this would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy. The little boy was delighted with the $5.00 and sat down to write a thank you note to GOD, which read: Dear GOD, Thank you very much for sending the money, however, I noticed that for some reason you had to send it through Washington D.C. and, as usual, those idiots deducted $95.00!

Diaper Specs

One day shortly after the birth of their new baby, the mother had to go out to do some errands. So the proud papa stayed home to watch his wonderful new son. Soon after the mother left, the baby started to cry. The father did everything he could think of, but the baby wouldn't stop crying. Finally, the dad got so worried he decided to take the infant to the doctor. After the doctor listened to the father describe all that he had done to get the baby to stop crying, the doctor began to examine the baby's ears, chest, and then down to the diaper area. When he undid the diaper, he found that the diaper was indeed full. "Here's the problem", the Dr. said. "He needs a change." The father was very perplexed, saying, "But the diaper package says it is good for up to 10 lbs!"