Cover up Gone Wrong

Peter buys a cheap vase for his mom’s birthday but accidentally smashes it before he can give it to her. He has an idea. He wraps the vase in gift wrap, puts it in a box and mails it to her – this way he’ll be able to blame the breakage on the postal service. His mom calls the next day, thanks him for the vase but tells him it arrived broken. “Oh dear,” says Peter. “That’s a pity.” “Yes, it is,” replies his mom. “But it was kind of you to wrap each piece individually.”

Roasted Daddy

Mommy, Mommy! Daddy fell in the campfire!
Shut up and get the barbecue sauce!

Asking For Money

A telemarketer was trying to make a particularly difficult sale. The person was just about to hang up, and the telemarketer said, "Look, pretend I'm your kid asking for money! What would you say?" Instantly the man hung up.