Please Come Help

The housewife answered the phone and listened with relief to the voice in her ear. "How are you, dear? What kind of day are you having?" "Oh, Mom, the baby won't eat; the washing machine is broken; I haven't been able to get out of the house to shop; I twisted my ankle and have been hobbling around all day. On top of that, the house is a mess and we're supposed to have some friends over for dinner tonight." "Now dear, just stay calm. Sit down, relax, and I'll be over in 30 minutes. I'll do the shopping, clean up the house, and cook your dinner for you... I'll take care of the baby when I get there and call a repairman I know who will get the washing machine fixed. In fact, I'll call George at the office and tell him he ought to come home and help out for once." "George? Who's George?" "Why, that's your husband, dear." "Mom, my husband is Jim." "Is this 234-5678?" "Uh, no, it's not. I think you have a wrong number." The housewife paused. "Uhhh, does this mean you're not coming over?"

Indian's Way of the Woods

There was an Indian chief who wanted to show his son the way of the woods. He gets on the ground and hears a noise.
"Buffalo come." "How do you know?" "Ground shaky." The boy wanted to try. He gets on the ground, listens. "Man come." "Is there a vibration?" "No." "Then how do you know?" "Ground sticky."

Your Place Or Mine?

Your place or my parents' basement?