Pigs In A Blanket

This morning I woke up to the unmistakable scent of pigs in a blanket. That's the price you pay for letting the relatives stay over.

Ride 'em

One day, little Mikey came home from kindergarten and couldn't find his mother. So he headed upstairs and opened her bedroom door. To his surprise, he saw his dad stripped naked on top of his mom, who was also naked, both heavily into the sexual act. Not wanting to traumatize the boy, the parents continued to do what they were doing. After a couple of minutes, Mikey asked, "Daddy, can I climb on top and have a horsey ride?" The dad thinks for a second, "Of course son, we're a family." After a couple more minutes his mother starts moaning and writhing wildly. "Hang on Dad!" cries Mikey, "This is where me and the mailman usually fall off!"

Name Change

When I was growing up my parents used to tell me that I can be anyone I wanted. 
Now the police call that Identity theft.