Paddy's Roses

A romantic Irishman named Paddy picked up a dozen valentines day roses for his girlfriend. He made a surprise visit to her house and rang her bell. When she opened the door and saw Paddy with the roses she smiled and gave Paddy a big kiss. Then she pulled Paddy into her apartment, seductively got undressed, sat on the couch and spread her legs wide. She said, Paddy, this is for the roses. Paddy said, Don't be silly, you must have a vase somewhere.

Farmer Love

Q: What do farmers give their wives on Valentine's Day?
A: Hog and kisses!

Valentine Flowers

My dissapointed wife called me from her work phone the day after Valentine's Day. She said, "Three of the girls in the office received flowers yesterday. They are absolutely gorgeous."
I said, "Well that's probably why they received flowers then."