St. Patrick's Day Parade

Hoffman and Puscas are bombed, watching the St. Patrick's Day Parade, when one of them drops his lit cigarette into a damp mattress that's been left out on the sidewalk. The mattress starts to smoulder just as the blue-hair brigade, the Ladies' Auxiliary, is passing by. Hoffman takes a whiff, turns to Puscas, and says, "Man... you think maybe they're marching these ladies too fast?"

Snowmen Treats

Q: What do snowmen love to eat?
A: Icebergs with chilly sauce.

Jewish Santa

Q: Did you hear about the Jewish Santa Claus?
A: He comes down the chimney, wakes up the children and says, "Hey kids, do you want to buy some toys?"