What Is A Vampire

Mommy, Mommy! What's a vampire?
Shut up and eat your soup before it clots.

Brunettes and Blondes Fixing a Roof

Two brunettes and a blonde are attempting to fix a roof. While they are on the roof, a herd of cattle run by and knock down the ladder and leave a big pile of poop behind. The two brunettes decide to make the blonde check how deep the poop is so they can jump down. So the blonde jumps down and yells, "It's only ankle deep." So the two brunettes jump down and scream, "What are you talking about?! It's up to our heads!" And the blonde replies, "Well, I jumped in head first."

Four Fleas

There were four fleas on a woman's thighs. Two were smoking pot and the other two were sniffing crack.